


When The More Isn't The Better (AU crack)

by canterofmysinnings



Category: Danish politics, Danish politics 2019, folketingsvalg, fv2019
Genre: Cursed content, Danish politics - Freeform, Multi, Parody, Politics crackfic, Polyamory, Sanity-endangering, Trace of sarcasm, alternative universe, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 01:58:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19163488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canterofmysinnings/pseuds/canterofmysinnings
Summary: Mette Frederiksen from the Danish Social Democrats meant well when she decided to try the whole polyamory thing, but upon actually getting into it, she quickly realises that there are challenges in being polyamorous.She is in a relationship with Morten Østergaard (The Radical Left) Pia Olsen Dyhr (Socialistic People's Party) and Pernille Skipper (The Party for Unity) when a man named Lars Løkke Rasmussen (a right-wing party named The Left)  contacts her with a promising offer. How will she react at the prospect of monogamy, and will her lovers find out?* Written in British English (Not that it makes the content any less soul-vacuumingly precarious to consume.)** Try not to eat or drink anything while consuming this crackfic, it won't end well.*** In case you don't read tags, this content is completely satirical and has NOTHING to do with canon. It is only written to cope with the stress and suspense from the government change.  I don't actually hate ANY of these politicians





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the recent and seemingly never-ending bickerings from the Social Democrats, The Radical Left, the Socialistic People's Party, The Party for Unity and even The Left as well as the quote "A red (= left-wing) pile wedding party)" from somewhere, I thought to reimagine their frayed dynamic as if it was a romantic poly/mono situation. This was my first thought, anyway.

It was a bright day in Copenhagen, Denmark. Sunny with clouds, this was June indeed.  
Although the Danish summer was sporting its trademark everchanging wind, Mette, Morten, Pia and Pernille were hanging out at the balcony in their expensive, spacey capital city flat.  
In the early afternoon, the two men and women were all tugged into blankets, sitting on sofas.  
On a table between them was a carton koldskål, a bag of crispy kammerjunkere and a small container of organic strawberries.  
Mette and Pia sat together, and Morten sat next to Pernille.  
They were an odd quartet in every way. 

People around them sometimes asked if they didn’t want to grow up and just split into two monogamous pairs.  
The answer was always no. All of them knew that, even though they certainly had their share of struggles, around twice as many as an exclusive couple would have.  
But right now, things were quiet and just content. No tension was present, just four Danishmen enjoying a sunny day.

Pernille was picking out the berries which had gone bad, Morten distancing himself by staring outside.  
Mette and Pia were silently enjoying each other’s company, barely touching.  
Pia was on her phone but momentarily laughed loudly, gaining the attention of everyone else.

“Ha, ha!” She laughed. “A stranger just asked me…” She quickly looked downwards and corrected herself, “Us… if we’re faking it.”  
Mette crinkled her nose. “Pia, don’t bother. Not everyone gets us. Just ignore them.”  
Pia’s eyes sparkled with amusement as she deleted the message request.  
“I guess you’re right. Just had a laugh about it, that’s all.”  
“Well, if you ask me, I don’t freaking know how we four ended up in a relationship,” Pernille butted into the conversation.  
“Just look at how grumpy Morten is all the time.”

“Grumpy?” Morten huffed defensively. “I’m not grumpy. I just… I guess I’m a little bit overstimulated by all this. And new to the concept.”  
“That makes two of us, Morten,” Mette argued.  
“Remember that I’m just as new to it as you are. And I’m doing well when all is considered.”  
“Right,” Morten said, lowering his voice.  
“Imagine the monos, they have no idea what we’re going through.” Pia laughed to change the subject and lighten the atmosphere.  
“Double the joys, double the struggles.”  
Pernille shrugged rather coldly now, matching Morten’s troubled demeanour from earlier.  
“We’re a strange bunch.” Pia sweetly chuckled, looking softly at Mette.  
Mette looked back at her for long, the look which was only appropriate for lovers.  
Mette thought to herself, if it wasn’t for Pia, I’d go mental.  
“We really are,” Mette affirmed before she reached for more koldskål.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mette and Pia do the dishes and talk about Morten and Pernille's disengagement in upholding their polyamorous relationship. When Morten and Pernille return at home and after the kids have been put to bed, repressed issues come to the surface and turn into a full-blown argument.

The weekend was over, and with Monday, another week following the quartet’s schedule ensued.

Although everyone was doing different things, there was still somehow time for each other, even with two shared children considered in the equation.

Currently, Monday early evening around 20:00 or 8 p.m., it was usually just Mette and Pia at home.

Pernille and Morten were either working or with the children at different activities.

Mette and Pia had shared a meal together. Both undeniably felt like they were missing something not having their other lovers at the table, but on the other hand, it was rather pleasant not dealing with bickering and coldness.

Monogamists would probably step in and argue that they were best off individually, but apart from subtle ego and compatibility issues, all four were incredibly determined people, determined to stay together, now they also were bound by children.

In a dreamy and kind of idealistic mood, the two of them helped each other out with the dishes and leftovers.

Mette licked her lips. “You know, sometimes I actually don’t mind Pernille not being here. She’s kind of argumentative, don’t you think?” She said, both hands covered in a dry handkerchief.

Pia instinctively furrowed her eyebrows. “Is it really that bad? I mean, she can be a bit mean, but isn’t it just her style? So passionate.”

A corner of Pia’s mouth curled upwards in a smirk as she ran a hand through her short, raven hair pixie.

Mette touched her russet-coloured hair, neatly in a long ponytail.

“I think Morten upsets me too, sometimes,” Mette said, now in deep thoughts. “I think I’ll need to sort out some problems with him.”

Pia sighed, yet Mette could tell it was based on love. “So be it. Let’s sort it later.”

*******

As soon as Mette had confessed what she thought about Morten and Pernille in what she thought was a considerable tone of voice, Morten and Pernille didn’t respond that well.

Attempting not to wake up the children, the four partners argued in angry whispers.

“I’d like to remind you that all of us actually spent years trying to achieve just the right to love each other,” Morten defiantly hissed, placing his fist onto the kitchen counter. Pernille seemed to back him up, her arms crossed.

On the other side, Mette and Pia was the other team in this heated discussion.

Mette frowned. “I was just stating feelings. Nothing more.”

“It’s just our style, you don’t understand?” Pernille responded. “That’s the way we think.”

“Maybe you two are better off just snogging each other, then.” Mette blurted out.

Both Pernille and Morten were visibly shocked. “Mette, you didn’t just say that, did you?”


End file.
